We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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