like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
