Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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