Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
