First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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