apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
