I'm drive I can fine osifer
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
