Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
