We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
