Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
