if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
