think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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