you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He shit in the fireplace
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
