Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
