You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
