I hate all girls vehemently.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
