you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
