This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
