dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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