Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
