no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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