I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
