Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
