Where did you get a picture of my penis
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
