My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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