letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Mom said you looked used
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
