No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
