I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
