The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
