Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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