she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
