I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
