I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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