We won't sleep together?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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