Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
