So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
