Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize