Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
