had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
