well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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