After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
