We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
