Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I can text with my tongue
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
