if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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