is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
