Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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