I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
