Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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