R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
