Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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