i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
