Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
