So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
