So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
