so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
