I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I look better un-naked...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize