Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize